How to Differentiate Love from Attachment?

If you were in love, congratulations, you are a normal functional human being with an abundance of feelings. But how many times after a break-up you heard phrases like “your love is uncontrollable” or “you should have been more timid and acceptant.” How much love is too much love? What differentiates the most poetic feeling from an unhealthy fixation on a certain person that can gain maniac traits or hurt somebody?

Sometimes men that lost a desirable woman due to some unfortunate circumstances are desperate to know whether it was love. They get mad and furious over this loss? What is it? A healthy sorrow or an irresistible eager to possess a person as if it was a thing?


What is Attachment?

Attachment is many reactions that are fixated and aimed to stick to the desired person for a long time, if not forever. You feel right about this person. You feel relieved, safe and content. You can say that these emotions are also a manifestation of love. When we are genuinely attracted to another human individual (like those from gallery), this feeling takes us on cloud nine; we feel almost drugged and exalted. But when it comes to Attachment, we rarely tend to think about other human’s emotions.

When you are attracted to the person’s physical features, not taking into consideration her character, then we talk about the attachment. Exactly this feeling makes us desire a woman’s body; miss her sexual skills, her smell, and full lips. You can admire her shape, her curvy hips or nice breasts, but you rarely think about this girl cook breakfast for you, have a pleasant conversation during evenings, do puzzles or yoga together. All in all, when you just neglect an individual side of a person, you get attached without realizing that you have no feelings towards this person.

This is why some men tend to insult their exes: they invent sarcastic jokes, lie about them being bad in bed, spilling all the tea about their nasty habits and being a general jerk. We get very desperate about our losses, and to be less self-conscious and more self-forgiving, we choose humor and insults as a way of self-defense.

A man in love always puts his woman’s feelings on a pedestal. He perfectly understands when a girl is tired and sad. An attached person will not go out of his way, stepping out of his comfort zone to impress a person (especially after the first sex). The same goes for women. That is why attachment is always selfish. A person in love doesn’t wait for a reward or compensation. If a person buys presents, this happens not to catalyze the process of intercourse or self- affirmation in having enough money, a man in love just needs to see a reaction of a beloved person after receiving this gift.

What is love?

Of course, this definition is going to be somewhat subjective. But generally, love is an emotional manifestation that does not either humiliate or discomfort another person. There always will be problems, conflicts and crises – it’s perfectly reasonable. When you tend to gravitate either towards not giving a damn to a complete obsession – both of those manifestations are not normal.  The next thing that differentiates love from an attachment is how you deal with the breakup. Obsessed men will try to fix everything that is long-time broken without the consent or asking the desire to reunite. A person in love can feel the range of emotions from sad to suicidal, but they never actually force a person if they realize that letting her go will bring her happiness. Of course, all the situations are individual, but let’s not forget about common sense and the power of an internal dialogue.

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